crumbles

And that makes six (6) close and dear people that have seen their marriages collapse. And I am not talking about evident problematic relationships. I speak of loving, caring, dedicated, committed people. Couples. Just like us. Or so I thought… I don’t know. It just makes me sad, and it makes me wonder what is that so grave that can’t be fixed. What is it that makes the marriage not good enough to fight for? And we have had our (un?)fair share of grief, mind you! Mostly brought upon by external factors, but I have to admit that, I have, on occasion, questioned my ability to survive my marriage. I am obviously still in it, so I guess I can. But most importantly, right now I can’t think of anything that could break us. We like to reminisce. To go back to the good ol’days of dating. It is refreshing and kind of funny sometimes to recall some episodes of our not so distant past. And then we pat ourselves on the back, thankful and proud of our strength (or stubbornness??) while looking back at the stickier patches of our journey and how we somehow managed to stick together.
People speak of falling out of love, and of love fading away. I guess all is possible, I don’t love Nick the same “amount” every day, nor do I expect he does me… but I know always how happy we can be together, and we are fortunate enough to manage often and easily to re-connect from episodes of (apparent) distance. Giving up here to go find somewhere else, can be foolish… there is no relationship permanently in heaven, and if that is the expectation and we won’t take less than perfect, than we are bound to be disappointed, rather than pleasantly surprised.
Having said this, I am in no way against divorce, by any means. I am only and just for happiness!! I guess sometimes there is no other option, and others, there is an option that only one of the parties is willing to explore, so that doesn’t work either. It just makes me really sad. Because I know what an emotional investment a marriage is, how vulnerable we become when we share our whole selves with someone else, how much trust you build over the years… and how painful it must be to see that all taken away. I am so sorry. Please hang in there, the ones of you who have not yet managed to move on.